literature

TFP: Shoveling Duties

Deviation Actions

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    "Starscream! Knockout! Get up on the flight deck!" Megatron commanded.
"My liege; why would I be needed on the flight deck?" Knockout came up from his bow.
"Yes, what he said." Starscream picked at his servos.
"Well my good doctor, you know more about this planet than I do!" Megatron pushed a button on the main computer, and played footage from a flight deck camera. "What is this white ash?!"
Knockout stared at the image. The flight deck was covered in at least a foot of snow. Several Vehicons were poking around in it, remarking the weirdness of it all.
"That is snow on the flight deck, my liege. It's made of ice." He explained.
"Remove it! Immediately! We must keep our flight deck operational. You as well, Starscream." Megatron turned his back, growling quietly as he removed the image from the bridge screen.
    The two Decepticons looked at each other, then walked off the bridge. Starscream was furious. "Why did you tell him what it was? Now we have to clean it up! Any ideas?"
"Several, actually. We could always change the ship's course to a warmer climate. The snow would melt right off-"
"Convincing Soundwave to change course? Hmph, good luck with that."
"Then we'll have to manually clear it. Using a human method they call 'shoveling'."
Their arguing attracted the attention of several Vehicon troopers, each taking bets on what would happen next. The commanding officers eventually made it to the flight deck, shovel in hand. The Vehicons came by to watch.
Starscream shivered. "If only your big friend Breakdown were here. That oaf could do this in half the time."
"Don't you say scrap about him! Anyway, let's get started." Knockout lunged forward with the shovel, scooping a large clump of snow. "This slag won't melt itself."
"Soundwave would never let us change course. Even if he did, he reports everything directly to our Lord." Starscream pushed a comparably small snow pile.
Knockout noticed this. "Slacker! I'm doing almost all the work."
"Really now. Says the one still talking!" He threw his pile of snow near where Knockout was working.
"You can't just throw it onto my side!"
"We're taking sides now? Fine. You get that side. I get this side. And we do not cross, no matter what!"
    At the end of a two hour period, Starscream's side was almost clear. Knockout's side was piled high with snow. He was working his aft off while Starscream stood off to the side, snickering.
"Work faster! I have already finished."
"Then help me! Lord Megatron will be angry at both of us if this isn't done."
"Maybe you can enlist the help of our highly-trained Vehicon troopers then. I'm sure they'd love to help." Starscream dropped his shovel and began to walk inside.
But Knockout was not going to let him get away with it. Not without payback! He let go of his shovel and bent down to grab some snow. Quickly, he formed a ball of it in his servos, and took aim. . .
SPLAT!
He hit Starscream right in between the wings! The Seeker froze, before turning around, visibly furious. Knockout prepped another snowball.
"What the FRAG!" Starscream bellowed. "How dare you assault your superiors like that-" He was cut off when another snowball whizzed by his shoulder.
Knockout already had another snowball in hand, and was tossing it in the air. "What? You not in the mood for a snowball fight?"
"Is this another ridiculous 'human' concept?!" Starscream scowled.
Knockout was about to reply, but it was his turn to get a snowball to the face. A quick glance over in the direction where it came from revealed a group of five Vehicons, all pointing fingers.
"Oh. . it's on." He declared while gathering up a batch of snow from the ground. The Vehicons scattered, each taking place in formation.
    Starscream had to duck and dodge through the volley of snowballs that followed. The Vehicons were guarding the exit, making escape impossible. He would have to side with Knockout to defeat them and clear the entrance. The soloist had thrown up a small wall in a short amount of time, and was cowering behind it, occasionally sneaking his arm out for a single shot. Starscream sprinted over as fast as his high heels could carry him and took cover behind the makeshift wall.
"Decided to join the fight?" Knockout teased.
"Not by choice. Now, the enemy is blocking the entrances and we have to-" Starscream replied.
All of the sudden Knockout laughed, and hard. "I didn't you could get so serious in battle." He laughed a little more. "The fleshies do this for fun, you know."
The conversation was interrupted by a barrage of white fluffy death from above. Someone must of dumped snow on them! They dug themselves out and continued their attack; Starscream made the snowballs, Knockout threw them. One by one, the Vehicons fell. Soon there was only one standing.
"We've almost won! Quickly, finish the last drone." Starscream handed a sloppy snowball to Knockout.
"You've got it." He steadied, and took aim.
    But then the ball melted in his hand. All the snow around them was melting. Their trusty wall was slowly turning into slush.
"What's going on?" Starscream remarked.
"It looks like the ship has moved into a warmer climate. ." Knockout replied
An very angry Megatron roared through their comm links. "Get back to the bridge, NOW!"
The two looked at each other, and hurried back. Megatron was fuming when they arrived. Soundwave was standing right beside him.
"I order you to do a SIMPLE task, and you disappoint, every time!" He pointed at Starscream. "The 'snow' should have been easy to remove, yet you can't!"
"My lord, I can explain-"
"USELESS!" He interrupted. "Thankfully, Soundwave changed our course to a warmer climate to rid us of the filth."
Knockout gave everyone the "I-told-you-so" look.
"Now, Knockout. YOU were the one who started this nonsensical 'snowball fight' of yours! You're not getting off so easily." Megatron said.
"But my Liege; how would you do in a snowball fight?" He asked back.
The leader was unfazed. "I would decimate your team. Now get out of my sight!"
Knockout's jaw dropped as he and Starscream left the bridge.
    Soundwave gave Megatron a funny look.
"What? I would." He replied.
Oh, what fun. .
I didn't want any fluffy stuff about the Autobots learning the "true meaning" of Christmas. I wanted something funny.
So here you go! Happy holidays!
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et450's avatar
lol i'd love to see that here in wisconsin!